What makes relationships happy?

There are two characteristics that the research shows makes relationships feel happy and fulfilling. Do you know what they are?

Kindness and generosity. Let me explain.

Kindness is really about respect - being respectful in your communication no matter what. Not resorting to criticism or contempt during conflict. Never taking an attitude of superiority with your partner. Really maintaining a culture of fondness and appreciation within the relationship that communicates: your feelings matter, your experience matters, and I appreciate you. Staying kind during conflict is a practice, but it’s worthwhile.

Generosity is not about things or gifts. It’s about trust, giving your time and energy freely, and being willing to give the most generous interpretation when miscommunication happens. It’s easy to read into things the other person does, especially if there’s been a build up of resentment over time. The most generous interpretation gives the benefit of the doubt and uses curiosity to try to understand where the other person was coming from instead of assuming hurtful intentions.

Can you see why these characteristics make relationships feel happy? In what area does your relationship need a tune up? Reach out to learn more about how couple’s therapy can help your relationship get back to its most fulfilling state!