The dance of trauma and illness.

In Freud's time, women with strange physical symptoms were labeled "hysterical."  

If you struggle with a chronic condition of some kind, you've probably heard it before.  Someone, whether it was a doctor, a family member, or a therapist, has probably suggested "it's all in your head," or the slightly softer version, "it's psychosomatic."  Spiritual communities sometimes call it "dis-ease."  You've probably just been told you're depressed.  

Basically, these are all ways of saying that your condition isn't a physical problem, but a mental/emotional one.  This is a common belief in society, and I'd like to address it because I believe it is a confusing, tangled ball of science and fiction.  Bessel Van Der Kolk, a prominent MD in the field of trauma and psychology, has a book called "The Body Keeps Score" about this very topic - that trauma often leads to and causes illness. 

I'm not saying there isn't a link between trauma and illness.   What I am saying, however, is that it's a thin line between understanding that link and victim blaming.  It's possible to have a trauma history and also an illness separate from that trauma.  A history of trauma can make you more prone to illness, but there is also a strong possibility that working through that trauma history may not cure you of a chronic illness.  

Again, I am not denying the incredible power that emotions have over our mental and physical health.  If you have a trauma history, I highly recommend therapy and somatic work.  Therapy is a helpful tool for processing emotions, and there's no doubt that our bodies have a physical response to our emotions.  But, it's important to be aware that you are not necessarily in control of your symptoms.  A false sense of control can be tempting - humans like to be in control.  I understand why the thought of "if I just process this feeling, maybe I'll get better" is so alluring.  No one likes to feel helpless, or like things happen for no reason.  My suggestion in all of this is to let yourself surrender to what your body needs and accept what is in the current moment without searching for a solution or yearning for a certain outcome.  Once you can do that, it's amazing how your perspective can change and what opportunities for healing can come your way.  

I realize this is easier said than done.  

Surrender is hard, for a multitude of reasons.  It takes practice and (more importantly) a truly safe place.  But, it's definitely a powerful practice.  

If you're needing help managing difficult emotions around a chronic condition or trauma, please reach out to me or someone else in your life.  I'd be happy to help you.  You're not alone.